10 Reasons why a vibrator is better than a man

(there is an 11th, but we all know that private joke)


1.

It keeps going, and going, and going.

A vibrator can keep going as long as it takes to satisfy you. All it needs is a power supply, and batteries are a lot cheaper and easier to get than Viagra.


2.

You don’t have to worry where else it’s been.

Unless you picked it up at a yard sale, you won’t have to give a second thought to who else might have used your vibrator before you. And you won’t have to worry about your vibrator jumping in another woman’s pants when you’re gone, unless if you have a freaky roommate.


3.

Vibrators can have more than one speed.

Most guys have two settings: full speed and off.
Vibrators have variable controls and let you pick the pace and intensity.


4.

A vibrator doesn’t roll over and snore.

A vibrator won’t finish before you and fall asleep. When you’re done with it, just shut it off and tuck it in your night stand drawer, then get a peaceful night’s rest with the bed to yourself.


5.

It’s ready when you are, and only when you are.

With a flick of a switch, your vibrator is ready to give you pleasure. On the other hand, when you’re tired or have a headache, you won’t get in bed and find your vibrator turned on.



6.

Vibrators are designed for your pleasure.

A penis is designed for procreation and male sexual pleasure, not to stimulate the clitoris and bring a woman to orgasm. A vibrator, on the other hand, was created with women in mind. Use the right tool for the job.



7.

No germs and no sperm.

A vibrator can’t get you pregnant or give you an STD. You’ll never have to worry about birth control, condoms, or safe sex.


8.

Vibrators don’t expect you to swallow.

You will never have to give your vibrator a blow job, or swallow or be made to feel guilty if you don’t.


9.

Vibrators are easy to replace.

If your vibrator breaks, wears out, or is defective, it’s easy enough to buy another one. Of course, a guy is easy to replace, too, but you can’t order one online and get home delivery.


10.


A vibrator won’t ask you if it’s bigger than all other vibrators you’ve had.

Vibrators aren’t insecure about their size or ability, and don’t keep asking for reassurance. Big or small, they just get the job done.  

--Last edited by tassiedevil on 2008-07-09 22:26:11 --

10 Reasons why a beer is better than a woman:

1. You can enjoy a BEER all month.
2. You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
3. Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car.
4. When BEER goes flat you toss it out.
5. BEER is never late.
6. HANGOVERS go away.
7. A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.
8. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a BEER.
9. BEER never has a headache.
10. If you pour a BEER right, you will always get good head.

Thats why i love vibrators they are most reliable and can give us  orgasm faster than men.

mkatta has a boyfriend, so she won't agree..  

i have a hubby so daren't...

Well sometimes i beg to differ.. .. I wish i had one handy at times.. or for my boyfr to come with an on/off button!

I totally agree with the beer.. those are 10 reasons why I choose beer over my man some nights  

Hmmm well to be honest i prefer the REAL thing.....but vibrators come in handy too...when hubby is tired or just not around....
But my vibrators have to look cute and funny....

True , the real thing is better in a way it has warmth    and especially better if the owner of it is Vale or someone u love. its more exciting as alot of feeling is involved.

But vibrator guarantees orgasm, men cant .

Quote :

romantik wrote : True , the real thing is better in a way it has warmth    and especially better if the owner of it is Vale or someone u love. its more exciting as alot of feeling is involved. But vibrator guarantees orgasm, men cant .

Hmmm you didn't meet the right man yet girl...i am at the sealing after a few minutes with my hubby using his real one

Quote :

creepygirl wrote :   Hmmm you didn't meet the right man yet girl...i am at the sealing after a few minutes with my hubby using his real one

i have not met the right man, i always meet the wrong ones.  no right ones for me. Im just unlucky.

But im so happy for u, its really hard to meet the right guy and have a ultra satisfying sexual relationship together    U make me believe there is true love out there    

I trust you will meet the right man romantik.. you are a special, beautiful woman with a lot of love to give.. you are a great friend, you lend your shoulder to cry on (be it millions of miles away), you are hilarious.. any man would be lucky to be with you for you!  

Quote :

romantik wrote :   i have not met the right man, i always meet the wrong ones.  no right ones for me. Im just unlucky. But im so happy for u, its really hard to meet the right guy and have a ultra satisfying sexual relationship together    U make me believe there is true love out there

O yes true love still excists and i am sure it will come on your way....

Haha Thanks guys, true love do exist. But i dont think everyone will find that right guy but im not overly upset about this haha. I can flirt with boys anytime LOL

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. 
 
 
 
Finally, the guys' side of the story.    (I must admit, it's pretty good.) 

We always hear   'The Rules' from the female side.  Nowhere are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note,  these are all numbered '1'   ON PURPOSE! 
 
 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down .
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable  answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.     See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.    Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.     We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am 'in shape'.   Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.      Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. 
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Awww Romantik, you are so . . . Romantic

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."


I agree Romantik, love IS worth risking everything/fighting for..  

Quote :

tassiedevil wrote : Awww Romantik, you are so . . . Romantic "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." I agree Romantik, love IS worth risking everything/fighting for..

   Yes..  we fight for the love want... and theres nothing wrong with failure...

I'm stumped.. I dunno what to do..
To fight or not to fight? For my love that is..

Have you read all that book i sent you yet ??

All the answers are in it..

It's almost the bible !  LOL

Once I nabbed him I didn't think it was necessary..  
Now I think I need to..I must print it out and read it over the summer break..  

well Aussie as amusing as your list is it also supports our opinion that all men are wise asses!!!!!!!! hehehehe